Blossomming for Gorgeous
by samalane
Summary: drabble. what happens when inspriation hits at all the worst times. enjoy. mainly kiraxathrun
1. Tears

Athrun.

Kira sighs as he looks out the window of the observation deck, looking at the dark blue expanse before him.

All he can think about is Athrun. And how he's being tricked by ZAFT again.

And how he misses him _so_ much.

Kira laughs a little as he remembers he conversation they had earlier, with Miriallia and Cagalli. Athrun had yelled at him, and brought up memories. Ones Kira wasn't supposed to think about. Ones he had spent a lot of time ignoring, in favor of appearing relatively okay, rather than broken, like he was.

He supposes he did an okay job. Nobody had sat him down and said he needed help. Nobody asked him if he wanted tot talk about it. Nobody brought it up around him. They refrained from mentioning certain words, and turned off the television when news about the war came on while Kira was there.That was almost all the time.

Only Athrun sat him down, and asked him if he was okay. And Kira told only Athrun, that he felt like he didn't deserve to be alive, after killing so many people. And only Athrun told him that he was a good person, and that he tried his hardest to save who he could. Only Athrun pulled him into his arms and help him for a long _long_ time, repeating that it would be okay, and Kira was okay, because Kira was a good person.

Kira didn't really believe it, but Athrun continued to reassure him whenever they met up over the years. Athrun continued to hold him, and even kissed him at one point.

They started going out then, secretly, because they didn't want to deal with more hatred and disappointment. But eventually, Kira got better. Athrun continued to be there, and he realized he needed to get over it. He _had_ tried to save people, and didn't quite know what he was doing. He had only been sixteen years old, what was he supposed to do? So he prayed for the people who died (even though he wasn't sure he believed in a higher power) and tried to be happy.

And eventually, Athrun came to him, seeking his advice. He had returned from a trip to the PLANTs, acting as Cagalli's bodyguard. He told Kira about what the men who tried to destroy Earth said about his father. And he asked Kira what he was supposed to be fighting for. Reminded Kira that he had promised they would find the answer together during the first war. Made Kira feel guilty, because he had been too caught up in himself to even realize that Athrun may have needed help too.

That was the last time they had seen each other. Now, Kira is back on board the Archangel, underseas, and twirling a plain gold ring around his finger. Athrun had given it to him before he had left again for the PLANTs, promising Kira that he would come back to him.

But Athrun was with ZAFT now, and they were on opposite sides, again.

Kira shudders. What if they have to fight one another again? He couldn't live through it, not again. He'd rather _die_ than have to try and kill Athrun again. He almost did too.

Kira sniffles, and wipes at his eyes, trying to brush the tears away. He doesn't _want_ to cry, he wants to be strong, like Lacus, and his older sister. like Athrun.

That doesn't stop anything though, and Kira buries his head in his hands, trying to hold in sobs. He wants _Athrun_ , dammit. He doesn't want to be onboard a ship, wondering if his lover is going to come back to him. He wants to be in _bed_ with him, cuddling, and making each other feel better. Holding one another.

He doesn't want to be in this itchy uniform, and he doesn't want to be underwater anymore.e doesn't want to hurt anymore, an wants to move on.

He wants to be free.

When Lacus walks in, and sees him crying, he doesn't turn away, and pretend he isn't. He lowers his hands, and sniffs, as pathetic as it is. He bites his lip, and tells her he misses Athrun, and he wants him back.

And Lacus doesn't cringe. Lacus doesn't look or sound disgusted. Instead, she walks over to Kira with a sad smile, and pulls him close to her. She tells him she knows, and that Athrun will come back. He's just confused, but he'll figure out what he has to do on his own.

Kira sobs and tells her he doesn't want to fight Athrun again. That he loves him too much to do that, admitting that he loves Athrun in _that_ way. But Lacus doesn't leave. She continues to smile, and still holds Kira close. She says she knows, and that she won't let him and Kira ever fight like that again.

Kira shows her the ring, and she smiles a beautiful smile. Tells him that Athrun clearly loves him too, and that she's known for a long time. Could see it when Athrun used to talk about Kira, even when _they_ were engaged.

And Kira keeps on crying. Because he knows she's right, and because he's still so lonely. And because it feels so good, and he finally feels like he's free of himself. Because his best friend didn't reject him.

And he decides that he'll be the one to go look for Athrun tomorrow. Because he wants to be the one to beg Athrun to come back.

Because he's the one who misses him the most.

And he's the one who needs him most.

--

Fluff. Just pure fluff.

Drabbles are fun.

Review, please?


	2. Kantai Shiki

Kira is fighting Shinn. Shinn is fighting Kira.

They're trying to _kill_ one another.

Athrun groans, and runs a hand through his hair. He's never felt so _useless_, so _helpless_. He can't do anything, because he has no weapon. And if he were to do something, he'd be an enemy to ZAFT. Again.

But at this point, being with Kira is more important. Holding Kira is more important, and knowing Kira will be okay is more important.

But he isn't. He won't, and he doesn't.

He watches in horror and Kira is repetitively shot at, and is put on the defense. He can't even strike back, because Shinn won't _leave him alone_. Shinn wants him to die, and Athrun knows this, Saw it in his eyes when he talked about the Freedom. Because Kira killed the girl he loved.

But Kira had held back. Kira had let Shinn try, and it didn't work. Kira's actions were justified, Shinn has no right to kill his best friend. The boy he had loved since _childhood_. The only person he'll ever love that way.

Athrun gasps when Shinn strikes him again, and ignores the pressure building behind his eyes. The panic takes over, and Athrun knows that Kira won't win this battle. Shinn has figured it out; Kira doesn't kill. Kira disables. Kira aims for anything _but_ the cockpit. And Shinn is using this against him.

Kira isn't ready to fight like that yet. He isn't ready to kill in order to survive. Kira doesn't have the strength to fight like his life depends on it.

Kira is forgiving, and Shinn is not. And Athrun is useless, watching as Shinn continues to beat him.

And they're _so_ close, the Archangel. Almost at the ocean, almost underwater, and Kira is almost free. But Kira's starting to panic, and Athrun knows this. It's been two years since Kira has even piloted a mobile suit. And he was so hurt, _how_ could he even attempt to kill someone, when he doesn't think he himself deserves to live?

It happens so suddenly, that it takes Athrun a few moments to process it. He watches as Shinn spins the sword, and shoves it though the cockpit of the Freedom. Where Kira is. _Kira_. Kira is in there.

Athrun watches in horror as the horizon is lit up by an explosion. Athrun doesn't know if it's from the Freedom or that Archangel, but it doesn't really matter to him, because what he _does_ know, is that the Freedom was stabbed right through the cockpit. Kira couldn't live through that, could he?

He had lived through the self destruction of the Aegis. He has to be able to live through this. Has to. Athrun will _die_ if he doesn't.

He watches the Impulse pull away, and watches the Freedom fall into the water. It doesn't come up. It doesn't come up, and Athrun knows that that isn't good. That Kira may be dead. His best friend, his boyfriend, dead. _Dead_.

And he screams Kira's name. He screams it with all the anger, fear and sorrow he's been feeling. He screams so loud that it tears at his throat, but he doesn't care. It feels good to scream like this, after keeping everything bottled up.

He stands there after a few minutes, barely aware that everyone is staring. He covers his face with a hand, and lets anger fill his body.

Shinn killed Kira. Shinn killed Kira, because Kira was _trying_ to help. He helped, dammit. Shinn would have _died_ if it weren't for Kira.

Athrun turns, and walks away. Walks out of the room, focusing on the anger he's feeling. Because if Kira's really dead... If Kira really died ...

Then what does anything matter? Life without Kira, is just wrong.

It almost seems like it isn't worth living.

Horrible, I know. Reviews are nice? 


	3. Kanata, furu hoshi no gotoku

I sit by his bed, and stare down at him, looking at his bruised face.

It doesn't look like Athrun. It looks like a _mistake_ of Athrun. His skin is too pale, especially compared to his dark hair. There are bags under his eyes, and he looks so small and defenseless under the blankets.

I suppose I looked the same way when Cagalli saved me too though. But it hurts to see someone like him look so weak. Someone so strong become so helpless. Athrun is not helpless. He's always the stable one, the one who makes sense and doesn't get too emotional.

But, really, I guess everyone has weak moments in life. Even those who seem so strong. Like Athrun. I've seen him during his weak moments. I think I'm the only one who has. But that's okay, I guess. It makes me feel important.

I sigh and brush some hair off of his face. He makes a small noise at the gesture, and I smile a little. It's the first noise I've heard him make, and it's oddly reassuring. I lean a little closer, and run my hand through his hair, sighing as I do so.

It's so soft. Just like Athrun to have soft hair.

They were right. Athrun did come back. Not in the way I expected, or wanted, but he's here. And that means everything to me.

I wish I could crawl in beside him and have him hold me, so I know he's really here, and I'm not just dreaming. But he's unconscious, and at the moment, there's no room on the bed. The bed looks very inviting; I've been sitting here for a long time, watching over Athrun. I think they told me to get some rest, or eat something, but I just stayed here, watching Athrun breathe. Because he's alive if he breathes, and that's good. I wouldn't be able to live if Athrun died.

The world is starting to tilt a little every time I close my eyes, so I push back my chair, and rest my head on the bed, near Athrun's. I looks at his sleeping, bruised face one last time before my eyes slip shut, and everything ceases to exist.

--

Pain is all I feel, in every sense of the word. Both physically and mentally. It's a lot of pain, but I think I've been in worse. Still, it takes a lot of effort to open my eyes, so I give up and sigh softly, relaxing into the bed beneath me.

I didn't die. Good. I didn't want to die, even if Kira is ...

What about Meyrinn? I dragged her into this, and ...did she live too? She must have...

This is too much to think about. My head is starting to hurt.

I let my mind go blank for a few moments, so I can become more conscious. When the throbbing lets up a little, I fight to open my eyes again. As I do, I realize there's something beside my head. I can feel the pressure of it beside me, and when I really think, I can notices the soft puffs of warm air against my neck.

I need to open my eyes.

I do, with great difficulty. It's really hard to open your eyes after you've been knocked out. Even when I wake up in the morning some days, it's really hard to open them. Maybe it's just me, and I'm just weird that way.

Regardless, I manage to open my eyes, and tilt my head to the right, to see who is on the bed beside me.

Brown hair. Lots of it. I lean a little closer, and it brushes against my face. Soft. And it smells nice. Smells familiar. Smells like ...

Kira.

I stare at the brown hair for a bit, and cough. It hurts more than I expected, and I cough some more. The head jerks, and lifts so that I'm looking into a pair of sleepy violet eyes. They widen a little when they focus on me.

I only know one person with those eyes.

Kira.

He smiles softly, the smile he uses for only me, and raises a hand, brushing some hair off of my forehead.

"Is this a dream?" he asks, and I shake my head a little.

"No," I attempt, and find it hurts to talk. My throat is hoarse. Kira smiles again, and I notice his eyes are a little watery.

"Good. I would die if it were," he murmurs, and I attempt to smile for him, even though my face aches too.

What _happened_?

"Kira ...you're here. Alive," I manage, and he smiles again, looking a little sad.

"We both are. We're both okay," he assures me, and I smile, already feeling tired. I nod slightly, and close my eyes. Warm lips press against my forehead, and I open my eyes again.

I don't want Kira to leave.

"Stay with me," I mutter, and summon up the energy to shift over a bit, so Kira has enough room to slip in beside me.

He looks around, and slips off his uniform jacket, leaving him in a t-shirt and pants. He kicks off he boots, and I lift the covers for him. He turns off the lights, and slides in, curling up beside me. I drop the blanket, and let my arm fall.

It lands on his waist, and I wrap my arm around it. He gets the message, and flattens himself against me, tucking his head under my chin.

I smile and bury my face in his hair again. So soft. So nice. So Kira.

_Kira_.

I feel myself drift off, and Kira sighs, sounding content. I kiss his head once before I'm completely lost to the world.

--

Athrun's steady breathing soothes me, and I nuzzle him softly, in case he's bruised. I feel him kiss my head, and then he's still, save for the breathing that's slowly lulling me to sleep.

Athrun is okay. I am okay. _We're_ okay, and we're together again.

I'm safe. He's safe. I couldn't ask for much more. Even if it's just for a little while, this peace is all I want.

Athrun is here. Alive.

I can finally sleep.

--This on is okay. I guess.I've noticed I still have many errors that went unnoticed by me.Sorry about that. I'll fix them one day, maybe.Again, review, please? 


	4. Sakura iro no kietsu

Kira remembers happy days. Carefree days. Days where life was perfect, and war hadn't happened. Wasn't going to happen.

Kira loves those days. Lives for them. Hopes life can be full of them again.

Athrun agrees.

"Athrun, do you remember ...?" Kira asks, and Athrun smiles, wrapping his arms around Kira's thin waist.

"I remember," he starts, and Kira smiles.

"When you asked me out,"

--

"Kira?"

The brunette turned and stared at his best friend, who blushed for some reason, and looked away,

"Wanna go out tonight? Like, I dunno. Go do something?" Athrun asked, and Kira smiled, and nodded.

"Yeah. I haven't gone out in a while," he said softly, and Athrun stared at Kira, who gazed out at the sea wistfully. Athrun bit his lip.

Kira was always so sad. Couldn't he fix that?

"Go put on something that's _not_ black. It's depressing," Athrun said, and Kira grinned softly, shaking his head.

"Fine. Only for you, Athrun," he teased, and walked to his room, leaving Athrun alone with his blush.

Kira seemed excited. That was a good thing.

Kira never really got enthusiastic about much anymore. He was still hurting from the war, Lacus said.

But Athrun wanted him to stop. Kira didn't deserve to hurt.

Five minutes later, and Kira came out in a lighter shirt, but still had dark pants on. Athrun made a show of rolling his eyes and sighing, but led Kira out of the orphanage and to his car anyways.

They waved goodbye to Lacus, who was on the beach, playing with the children. Athrun already told her about what was going to happen.

Well, what he wanted to happen, he couldn't be too sure about the outcome.

-

The night went by well, in Athrun's opinion. The went out for supper, and talked. A lot. They always talked a lot when they were alone. About everything and anything.

And Kira opened up. Kira didn't just listen like he had been. He talked to Athrun like he used to. Smiled for Athrun like he used to, and laughed for Athrun like he used to.

He lived like he used to. Athrun had decided it was a good sign. And really, he was just happy that Kira was okay.

Now though, was _the part_. The part where Athrun could leave life like it was, or change it. Their friendship was in his hands; did he want to possibly ruin it, and hurt Kira further? Or did he want to settle for what he had, and long for the rest of his life?

The answer was very nearly made up for him. Sort of.

They sat on the hood of his car, staring out at the ocean. They talked a little, but mostly sat in comfortable silence. Until Kira started to talk.

"I don't deserve to live," he said softly, and Athrun whipped around, shocked. Kira didn't look at him, but glared out at the water.

"Why am I still alive? So many people lost their lives because of me," he continued, sounding broken, and Athrun wondered what went wrong. Kira has seemed happy.

All good things must come to and end.

He knew that. Maybe.

It wasn't a new topic. Kira had brought it up before. Once. Athrun thought they had dealt with it. That Kira got over it. It had been a year.

Apparently he didn't. Athrun should have been paying more attention.

"Many people still have their lives, because of you, Kira," Athrun responded, just as softly, and looked out at the water too.

"I killed people. Why do I get to live when innocent people don't?" he asks, and Athrun looked back at him. Noticed his shoulders were shaking.

Kira was crying. Athrun hated it when Kira cried. He just wished Kira could be happy.

"Kira," Athrun started, and Kira cut him off.

"Don't, Athrun. I killed people just because they would kill me instead. I made so many people suffer. What right do I have to live?"

Athrun closed his eyes.

Kira had every right to live. He was almost a saint. Although, his opinion was probably biased.

Athrun acted on impulse, and wrapped an arm around Kira, pulling him to his side.

"We've all killed, Kira. It's inevitable in war. It's what war is. And, we were trying to stop it. Sometimes there are sacrifices," he told him, and Kira buried his face in Athrun's chest, still shaking. Athrun wrapped his other arm around the brunette.

"Athrun... "

"Kira, if you had died ...a lot of people would be suffer too. I would ..." Athrun said, trailing off. Kira looked up at him, and smiled a little through the tears. Athrun was reminded of that _awful_ day, and he closed his eyes.

"I would die ...if you died. I ..." he stopped, and looked at Kira, who was staring up in an almost hopeful way.

Athrun made up his mind and dipped his head to kiss Kira. Spontaneous. Their mouths met, and Athrun internally cheered for a moment, before pulling away nervously.

Kira sat still for a moment, and then looked up at Athrun, questioning.

Athrun needed to know. So he asked. Sort of.

"Kira, I," Kira cut him off though.

"Kiss me again ...Athrun?" he asked shyly, and Athrun stared for a few seconds, before smiling and kissing his best friend again.

When they pulled away, Kira blushed, and looked down. Athrun still held him.

"You mean a lot to me Kira. I think that you, out of everyone, deserves the chance to be happy the most. It might be biased, coming from me, but a lot of people think so. I ...hate seeing you so hurt," Athrun admitted, and Kira sighed.

"What happens now?" Kira asked, and Athrun paused.

It seemed so cliche ...but, how else would he say it?

"Um ...do you ...you know. Wanna ...trying dating, or something? Like girlfriend and boyfriend, only, you're not a girl, so -"

Kira effectively answered him with a kiss.

When they pulled away again, Athrun smiled down at his _boyfriend_.

"You're a good person, Kira," he said.

And that was that.

--

Athrun smiles. Kira laughs.

"I remember," he replies, and Kira nods. Athrun tilts his head.

"Kira, do you remember ...?"

"I remember," Kira starts, and waits for Athrun to finish their game.

"Right now," Athrun says, and grabs Kira's hand, kissing it. Then he slips a thin silver band onto his ring finger.

Athrun looks at Kira and Kira smiles up at him.

"I'll remember," he replies softly, and Athrun kisses him, sealing the memory.

--

So, updates won't be too regular for a bit, since I'm not at home, and am currently using a friends computer.

Thank you so much for the reviewes, and _please__, review. It makes me happy and want to update more XD And every author loves reviews._

Till the next time!

(And sorry for any errors. I tried so hard to get rid of them all .


	5. Mizu no Akashi

Lacus sings.

That's what she loves. Singing.

She's not sure if she can sing just because she's a coordinator, but doesn't really mind if the talent isn't all natural. If it's just her altered genes.

She puts it to good use, and that's what really matters. To her.

Lacus is a singer.

She is a pop icon.

She's a celebrity.

She doesn't feel like one.

Right now, watching her best friend cry his heart out, she feels like anyone else.

She does most of the time.

She hurts when she sees the fake Lacus taker her place on stage.

It's not because she's jealous, and wants the attention for herself.

It's because she wants to be out there, doing what she loves. Bringing hope and happiness to people.

Although, they seem to get that from the fake Lacus.

It hurts that they don't notice.

--

Lacus sits.

She's alone right now. Kira has retreated to his room for some well earned rest, and Miss Murrue is taking a walk. The other crewman are taking a break at Lacus' request.

Really, she just wants some time alone.

To sing.

She somehow manages to hook up her music. Manages to find some files, and play them so she can sing.

She can sing without the music, but the music is what shapes the song, in her opinion. Not just her voice.

One of her older songs floats out over the speakers, and she smiles. Remembers singing it while Athrun pointed a gun at her.

She's tempted to open all communications channels, so people can hear the real her. Athrun would know it was her, if he heard.

After all, he met the fake Lacus, Kira had said. Lacus wonders what she was like. And why she would impersonate her.

She certainly looked very happy.

Lacus decided she was lonely.

--

On a whim, she opens all communications channels, and replays the beginning of the song.

"Mizu no Akashi," she murmurs, before beginning to sing.

It feels good. Her throat quickly adapts to singing, rather than talking, and the sound just flows out.

She stands up. It feels like she's on a stage that way. And she misses the stage. Performing in front of all of those people. Seeing them smile as she sings.

That's what peace is for her. Watching the people as she sings.

She hears the door slide open, and she knows it's Kira. She doesn't need to open her eyes, or turn around. She just _knows_ when Kira is there.

She feels him stand beside her, and she opens her eyes to smile faintly at him, before singing the rest of the song.

Kira smiles at her.

Singing is peace, for Lacus Clyne.

---

Athrun sits up as a familiar voice wafts over the speakers in the hall. Curious, he walks out, and stands there, his uniform not quite done up.

It sounds like Lacus.

For a minute, he doesn't know if it's Meer or not. But then he realizes he's only heard this song a few times in his life. During the last war. When he was hunting down Lacus.

Right before she told him Kira was still alive.

Athrun smiles, and walks down the halls purposely, heading for the Bridge. He wonders if there's a picture. If he can see the real Lacus sing.

And maybe Kira is standing beside her.

Athrun would like to see Kira.

Listening to Lacus sing is heaven, Athrun decides. Meer sounds a lot like her, but there is something unique about Lacus herself.

It might be how her voice is softer. How her songs are gentler. How her lyrics hold more meaning.

Maybe it's because he knows Lacus is genuine, and Meer isn't.

Because he knows Lacus _loves_ to sing for different, reasons. Pure reasons.

He enters the bridge, and smiles sadly at the Captain, and everyone else who is there.

Shinn points at the screen, and Athrun looks. His heart hurts a little.

Lacus is there, beautiful as always, especially in her uniform.

But what makes him really sad, is the image of his best friend-turned lover beside her.

He looks sad.

And Athrun is sad.

He wants Kira to see him.

---

Lacus sings, going though all of her songs. It feels so good to sing. To release all the pent up emotions.

Subtly, she presses the button that will send the image of her and Kira everywhere. She hopes that they won't be able to find the Archangel because of this. But she wants the world to know that this is _her_ singing. Not the fake in the PLANTs.

When Athrun's face appears on the screen in front of them, along with numerous other ZAFT soldiers behind them, Kira gasps and sighs Athrun's name.

Lacus continues singing for the two of them. Athrun smiles, and Kira reaches out, as if he hopes to touch Athrun.

Athrun still holds the same, sad smile.

Lacus still sings the same, nostalgic song.

--

"That was stupid," Cagalli says.

Lacus shrugs. Smiles.

"It felt good," she replies, and now Cagalli shrugs, looking out at the water.

"I guess it would," she replies, and Lacus continues to smile.

"It was needed. For everyone," she says softly, and Cagalli doesn't answer.

The both know who she means.

And then there's herself.

She needed it too.

Singing is peace for Lacus Clyne, after all.

Even if it's only for a short while.

--,p.So unrealistic, I know. But the idea's been there for a long time. I needed to get rid of it.So, who's finished the newest Harry Potter book? Damn, it was good.Sorry for lack of updates. I should have some in a week or two, since I'm going on a trip now. Please review, and wait for the next random chapter?


	6. Zenbou no Fuchi

Yzak plays piano.

Nobody but Dearka knows this.

Yzak never felt like mentioning it. And it was Nicol's thing. Not his.

He was okay, he supposed. Decent. Probably not as good at Nicol, who loved the piano, but he was okay.

When your mother forces you to take lessons for years, you end up being okay.

Piano was the thing rich boys did. And Yzak was a rich boy.

Now, he's mediocre, rooming with his best friend when he's not needed on the battlefield.

He's a commander now. He likes the uniform, but kind of misses being in the red suit, even though he has a higher level of authority now.

He misses seeing Dearka in the red suit too. It's like he's been demoted to a regular soldier now.

Then again, it took a lot of work to get Dearka back into the military after he turned on ZAFT. Even if most people agreed Patrick Zala was out of line, Dearka had still been a deserter.

But, Dearka was on Yzak's ship with him, and that was all right. Supposedly Athrun had joined ZAFT again after Yzak asked him too (Imagine, Athrun Zala taking HIS advice!), so, life was okay.

Sort of.

If he wasn't lusting after his best friend.

That part kind of sucked.

But Yzak couldn't help it.

Dearka was like ...nicotine. Addicting. And calming. If he was in the room he had a tendency to keep Yzak from exploding when the stress became a little too much.

He was the one who suggested that Yzak play piano when he got too angry. Or stressed.

Which is why Yzak was playing piano right now, very nearly pounding the keys in an attempt to release his pent up frustration. Both sexual and mental.

He didn't really want to like Dearka like that, but couldn't think of ever being with someone else.

So he'd given up.

Now he just needed to tell this to Dearka.

And ruin their friendship.

He just kept on playing, instead.

Maybe an idea would hit him.


	7. Hajimare ga Yue

The Freedom.

In both ways, really.

Kira loves the feeling of piloting the Freedom, as morbid as it can be. He doesn't like the fighting he needs to do. But he likes flying.

If he could keep the Freedom, just for travel, and his own uses, he would be happy.

Nothing gets his adrenaline going like taking off in the Freedom. Feeling the rush of speed, and cruising out over the land below him. nothing compares to that.

Flying in the atmosphere is better than outside, because of what you can _see__. The world is small, but it holds _so much.

Kira wishes he could see it all.

--

Kira takes off, shouting his name out as he launches. He can't help but yell, it keeps him calm.

Sometimes, he hates himself for feeling this way. For liking it so much. But it's hard not to.

It's what he was born to do. Succeeding at what you were destined to be good at is a feeling like no other. And as much as Kira hates the thought of having to fight, he can't deny his feelings.

He hates hurting people, but he loves to do what he's best it. It hurts, sometimes, late at night, when he's all alone with no one else to occupy his thoughts.

He thinks about how twisted he is, to love something like it. It makes him wish that he was a natural, so he wouldn't have to love something so horrible.

He supposes, that if the Freedom was used for other purposes, he might not feel this way, but he's not sure. Being ABLE to fight is also part of the feeling.

The knowledge that he's almost unbeatable, even to coordinators, is unexplainable. It's something he almost prides himself on.

He doesn't kill, but he disables. And by doing so, he can show off his skill there.

People tell him that to reassure him, and for a little while, it helps him. So, sometimes he knows he's good, and that's okay. If you're talented, and use it for good purposes, then that's okay to Kira.

He just wishes he could love something else as much.

But he can't deny it.

Kira loves the feeling.

The freedom.

--

I really don't like this one. Not very much, but I felt like writing about Kira exclusivly, so I did.

Review please? 


	8. Itsuwari no Yuujou

The Archangel is all dark and silent hallways as I make my way down them.

I wonder why it's so dark? Normally the lights are left on.

Then again, what do we use for power? We haven't stopped to resupply in a long, long time. Maybe we're trying to save?

Regardless, I continue down the halls, determined to get out, and into the night air.

I'm so sick of being stuck inside. When was the last time I breathed fresh air?

It bothers me that I don't know the answer. It's been a while since we've set out.

-

I reach my destination, and lean on the railing, sighing.

Yes. Outside is nice.

When the war is over, Athrun and I should go for picnics. Or go for more walks. Spend more time outside in general.

I hate being inside now. I feel like I'm locked up.

With another sigh, I look out at the night sky. It's cloudless, and I can see the stars, and all their formations.

It's beautiful.

It makes me wish Athrun were here with me, looking out at the sky like we did when we were kids. When we used to share a room.

It's been a long time since we've shared a room. We've slept in the same bed, but we didn't end up moving in with one another yet. He was busy as Cagalli's bodyguard, and I stayed at the orphanage with Lacus most of the time.

Because seeing children reminds me of the good left in the world.

I had hoped we could teach them things. How to accept one another for who they are. How to uphold peace.

I hope, that in the future, they'll remember us, and maybe the memory will influence the world. Maybe peace will last?

That would be nice.

It would be nicer if we had peace now.

It almost doesn't seem fair. Well, really, it isn't fair. We were sixteen during the first war. sixteen. So young, and yet we fought mercilessly. We killed, and lost others, in battle.

I fought my long time best friend, at the age of sixteen.

It's so depressing. It always hurts me, to think of that day. I know it hurts Athrun too, even if we are closer than we ever were.

It's hard to think that we both tried to kill one another, when we care so much about each other.

Yet, now, we're on opposite sides again.

I think about this a lot. I cant help it. I don't want to fight Athrun, but it seems like it's inevitable.

I personally think I could take him down, but then again, I'm not too sure. I hope that, if I have to fight him, I can disable him quickly, so we don't have to seriously fight.

It scares me.

-

I've been out here for a few hours, I'm guessing, but the sky is still dark. Sunrise isn't close yet.

And I'm still depressed. Nothing new, I guess.

I lean back on my hands, and let the breeze brush my bangs back. Maybe I should cut my hair. It's grown long.

But Athrun said he likes it. Said it makes me look older, more sophisticated.

Athrun.

I ...miss him. Obviously.

When I close my eyes like this, and relax, I pretend he's here beside me. It makes the loneliness fade a little. Makes the longing go away. A bit.

I can't help but wish Athrun was here.

But he's not.

Maybe he'll come back.

I hope he'll come back.

I ...need him.

Athrun.

I sigh again, and stare up at the sky.

It never ends.

--

So, here's another. I love the song I wrote this to, which is the title of this chapter. It actually only shows up about three times in Gundam Seed, which saddens me, 'cause it's so pretty XD

Oh, and I think I should say, thank you all SO much for all of the reviews! Even just one makes me feel happy, and it's nice to know people actually like my writing. It makes me want to write more, and improve!

So, until next time! 


	9. Heiwa no Inori

"He'll be here soon,"

Kira turns and smiles at Lacus.

"Yeah, I know. I'm excited though," he replies.

She smiles back at him.

"He's only been gone two weeks, though," she says, and Kira grins.

"Two weeks can be a long time," he replies smartly, and continues to gaze out the window.

Lacus smiles to herself and giggles at the brunette sitting across from her. Kira glances over at her, and can't help but smile again.

Athrun had left two weeks ago to escort Cagalli on her trip to the PLANTs. He had taken up being her bodyguard again, saying that this way he wasn't directly involved with the military, but was still well informed. Kira didn't like how Athrun often had to make those long trips that Cagalli had to, but in the long run, it was for the better. Plus, the reunions were always great.

"You really love him, don't you?" Lacus asks, and Kira looks back at her.

"Yeah. I guess I do," he replies softly, and smiles at her. Giddy. Lacus returns the gesture yet again.

--

They're sitting there, in the almost quiet living room (the children are outside playing with Reverend Malchio), when Shinn bursts in. Loudly.

"Athrun and Cagalli are back! And they're demanding that you two come outside to see them now," he says cheerfully. Kira stares at him for a moment, then lets out a wild bark of laughter. He jumps up, and runs outside, sidestepping Shinn, and leaving Lacus to follow and laugh at him.

He looks up at the road, and sees the familiar mop of blue hair, alongside blonde. He's glad to see his sister, but would rather hug Athrun first, though.

"Athrun!" he shouts, and waves. He sees Cagalli nod to Athrun, and he nods back, then runs own the hill, as quickly as he can without falling.

Kira smiles again and runs forward, eager to reach Athrun.

They collide halfway, and Kira throws his arms around Athrun's neck. Athrun grabs Kira by the waist, and lifts him, swinging him in one of those cliche, romantic circles. Kira complains about it, but he really loves it.

When Kira is set down, he cranes his neck to meet Athrun in a kiss. Like usual.

The kids scream, and Shinn yells at them for kissing in public, but Kira doesn't care, and he doesn't think Athrun does either. Not when he's moving his lips against Kira's like THAT.

When the pull apart, Kira gazes into Athrun's peaceful face, and smiles blissfully.

"I missed you," Kira says, and Athrun laughs a little.

"I gathered that much," he replies teasingly, and Kira shakes his head.

"You're supposed to say you missed me too!" he sighs, and Athrun smiles gently.

"I missed you too. A lot. Two weeks is a long time, isn't it?" he asks, then kisses Kira again, before he can answer.

So Kira answers mentally.

Yes, two weeks is a long time. But so worth the wait.

--

So, I am SO sorry about the long wait. Life has been a little hectic XD. School started again, and my internet died for a while, and I just got busy . . . But, here is a nice, mushy, sappy chapter (like all the others) and I hope you enjoy it.

Actually, the next one is sappy too, but the one after that is more or less humerous, or so I'd like to think. So, yes.

Please, PLEASE review, because I've noticed I get favorited, but people don't review TT. I know I don't always review either, btu I try to! And I have been, since I'm starting to understand how great reviews are! Feedback is nice!

And still, thank you to those of you who did review. It makes me feel special!! <333 


	10. Shinjirareba Koso

"We'll be okay, right, Athrun?"

Athrun looks at Kira, who's staring out at the horizon. The breeze plays with his hair, messing it a little. Athrun thinks he looks serene, standing against the setting sun.

"What do you mean?" he asks, looking back out at the sunset, instead of Kira. He hears Kira shuffle, and looks back over to find Kira facing him.

"Well, I mean ...we're doing the right thing, right? We're choosing the best path to end this war ...right?" he asks uncertainly, violet eyes shimmering with worry.

Athrun sighs and shakes his head. It's typical of Kira to act like he knows what he's doing, but really doubt himself as many people do.

Well, other people. Not the crew of the Archangel. If they doubted him, they wouldn't be here. It's obvious, but Athrun supposes that, like everybody, Kira has his moments of weakness. And really, he's never really took notice of how people think of him. He was modest like that.

"I can't tell you if we're doing the right thing for the world," Athrun says, turning to Kira, who looks away. Athrun smiles a little.

"But, if you feel it's the right thing to do, then it's the right thing for you. And apparently a lot of people agree with you, as they're still by your side," he says, and Kira looks back up at him. Hair falls into his eyes, and he brushes the strands away unconsciously.

He looks like he's about to cry. That bothers Athrun, even though he knows Kira's a big crybaby. He can't help but feel protective though. Old habits die hard.

"But, I don't know what I feel. I think what we're trying to do is right. Trying to stop fighting on both sides ...but are we being hypocritical, by fighting as well?" he asks softly, and Athrun places a hand on a thin shoulder.

He doesn't eat very much ...it's hard to eat during times like these, Athrun understands, but still...

"Sometimes, you need to intervene to stop a fight. And sometimes, you need to fight in order to intervene. We don't fight to kill, or overpower, we fight to stop things. Like self defense, it's needed," Athrun says, but Kira looks away, gazing out at the water. The sky is turning it blood red.

Kira still looks uncertain though. And Athrun knows he needs to fix this before Kira goes back down with everyone else. He can't look unsure, or everyone else will hesitate.

"Kira, you told me before, that if I came with you, you'd help me figure out what I was fighting for," Athrun starts, and Kira looks back at him. He's momentarily entranced by Kira's eyes; so intense. Filled to the brim with passion, and every emotion. Kira isn't well at masking his emotions, and they're made more intense by his eyes.

Beautiful eyes, Athrun always thought.

"I went with you, but I never really found an answer. Generally speaking, it was to end the war. Lacus asked me if I fought for my father's orders, or for the medals I had. For ZAFT, and their beliefs. I didn't know, and I didn't know this time around, either. I re-joined ZAFT with hopes of figuring it out. I didn't," he continues, And Kira meets his gaze. He looks a little confused.

Athrun looks Kira up and down, from head to toe. Takes in his short, lithe figure. Soft face, long hair, and eyes. His eyes. And he smiles, a true smile, the ones he saves for just Kira.

"I know now though. If I didn't know, I wouldn't be with you, on this ship right now. I believe in what you're fighting for, for peace. And I believe that the way we go about it is the right way. I believe that words should be used, rather than weapons, and I believe that the world will truly be a better place, if we try hard enough. I believe in fighting for peace; for freedom and justice," he says, teasing at the end, and Kira smiles at that.

"You don't try to kill, and you don't fight for revenge. You fight for the people who don't want to fight. People who just want everyone to get along, and live in harmony. That much is enough to make me stay with you guys. I fight for your ideals, and I fight, for you," Athrun admits, and Kira's eyes widen a little. He looks uncertain again.

"Athrun ...what, do you mean ...?" Kira asks, and Athrun shakes his head again, but continues to smile.

"You're our leader, Kira. Miss Murrue may be captain of this ship, but people look up to you, and follow your ideals. You're the one who gives everybody the strength to go on, and make the best of what we have. And because of that, I'll fight to protect your ideals. I do fight for freedom and peace, but I also fight to protect you. Your dreams. Everyone wants that same dream Kira. That's why we're all still here, and that's how I know we're doing the right thing," Athrun says, and Kira smiles at him.

The smile he reserves for just Athrun. It's so happy that it almost breaks Athrun's heart, and he can't stop himself from grinning back, and sweeping Kira into his arms.

A few hours later, when they're in their room, and Athrun is thinking about how vague he sounded during his speech, how he didn't really get his point across like he had hoped to.

Kira curls up to him, and nuzzles his neck.

"Thank you, Athrun," he murmurs, and Athrun smiles, gently kissing the top of Kira's head.

Maybe he made sense after all.


End file.
